- Men should pay on first dates to check if their date is “entitled,” divorce lawyer Justin Lee said.
- It’s the “best litmus test” for a partner, the Toronto-based family lawyer said on TikTok.
- The video sparked debate on dating etiquette and who should pay for dates.
Men should always pay on first dates — but not for the reasons you might think. At least that’s according to one Toronto-based divorce lawyer who think paying for dates is the perfect litmus test.
“The issue isn’t tied to the number of dollars that we’re spending at the end of the date,” divorce lawyer Justin Lee said in a TikTok video that has more than 342,000 views.
“The issue is when we end up paying for someone who has this real sense of entitlement, like this expectation that we will pay. That’s precisely why we need to always pay.”
It’s the “best litmus test,” he described in the caption.
“Your date, whoever that is, may very well be the person you end up marrying. And trust me when I say, as a divorce lawyer, who you end up marrying is so, so important,” he continued in the video.
“Let’s say, at the end of the date, you pull out your wallet and you offer to pay. And your date just sits there, expecting you to pay, as if that is the obvious course of action,” he said.
“You just learned that the person in front of you is entitled, and frankly, has the audacity to expect a near stranger to pay for them. Just imagine how someone like that would treat their significant other.”
He added: “For a low, low price of $20, $30, $40, you learned that the person in front of you does not have the basic courtesy to pretend to offer to pay. And therefore you should never go on another date with them “
Lee, who has 175,800 followers on TikTok, is a family law attorney working at McCarthy Hansen & Company in Toronto, Canada. He did not immediately respond to Insider’s request for comment.
The video sparked discussions on dating etiquette, with some users saying that the person who asks for the date should be expected to pay.
“Counterpoint — for a first date, usually the woman has invested far more money (and time) into clothes, hair, makeup, etc — everything a man expects,” a user wrote in a comment that got more than 1,600 likes.
In the comments, Lee stressed that men will “gladly pay” because “the payment isn’t the issue.”
“The issue is when women perceive the payment as an obligation as opposed to a kind gesture. Entitled vs. appreciative. No one owes anybody anything!” he wrote.
“For the record, this isn’t gender specific — any man or woman who feels entitled in any way towards the other is a walking red flag,” he added.